We just had a three day weekend adjacent to my birthday. (Read this as: I ate my weight in spicy, fried, red meaty, rich delights–accompanied by delightful potent beverages–not necessarily in that order.)
I don’t feel guilty. Hell, I don’t even feel that bad. But I’m back on the Nutritarian bandwagon today. Because I have noticed some positive changes after eating this way for three weeks (weekends off) now. I do seem to have more energy and I do not crave those naughty foods that get me off track (and by crave I mean gut-cramping, mind-controlling, drool-inducing, soul-crushing, can’t-see-straight, lock-the-doors, rapacious mania.) By “naughty foods,” I mean white starches, crispy, salty or cheesy things.
Am I really fasting? No. I have fasted before and that is freakin’ intense. However, I am currently only eating three meals a day–very little (if any) snacking. This is a departure for me. I don’t like feeling hungry. (Let’s face it, we in this country don’t know hunger. What we experience is merely our appetite.) At any rate, I don’t like that gnawing feeling in my belly. So, I’ll jam something in my gob to quell that feeling–a handful of pretzels, some chips, cheese, olives–whatever I can my greedy little mitts on.
So, I’m not doing that since starting this lifestyle. If I am really feeling voracious, I’ll grab a piece of fruit or some vegetables. This is where things get similar to real fasting–you get spiritual about eating and food. It stops being something that takes that bad feeling away–be it the acidic appetite feeling, the anxiety of whatever has cropped up during the day, the midday fatigue from not sleeping well the previous night, the boredom that comes with being cooped up in an office or at home all day…fill in the blank with your unpleasant feeling of choice.
Your coping mechanisms get amped up. You fight through it. And then you start thinking about when & what you are going to eat. At first you fixate on it. I’ve been experiencing a strange thing lately–when the time finally arrives to eat something, I can’t decide exactly what it should be. Which is where the spirituality begins…
I start to carefully weigh my options. I consider carefully what I should eat. What does my body need? What will best feed my brain? I have stopped thinking about the consequences of my food choices; it really has become more about how food can build me up, make me stronger, make me function better. It’s as though I’m in thoughtful communion with my sustenance.
I’m not getting all Dalai Lama here, I know this is somewhat trivial. Except that it isn’t. Food prevents our dying. I also know that I am a total hypocrite, given my behavior on weekends. The thing is, there is no one right path. You do what you have to do to access that part of yourself–the part of yourself that makes your head warp through six dimensions when a new sense of perception enters your mind.
Dal (stewed red lentils) with assorted curry blends, a lot of vegetables, and some garbanzos. I used a bit of coconut milk and topped off the works with cilantro, red onion & chilies. Turnip greens, simmered with a goodly amount of garlic & onion and dressed with lemon juice. Quinoa was the grain tonight. It was good.
The last bonus of eating this way? When I eat a meal now, I can actually feel it affecting me. I feel it entering into my bloodstream. My energy returns, my spirits lift (and stay lifted for a much longer time) and I don’t need a nap.